While I was growing up, I experienced my fair share of hurt but I never considered myself to be wounded. The day I got my school results set my life on a new course.
I was 16 and I did well. The achievement gave me a rushing sense of self-worth. It felt like I’d taken a harmless drug and I liked the effects. I liked them very much.
Success junkie
As the years went on, I continued to seek success. I loved the feeling of significance that it produced in me. Without even realising it, I had become a ‘success junkie’.
Promotions, winning contracts, positions in church, recognition in Christian circles: they all gave me the ‘shot in the arm’ that I needed to feel good about me. And worst of all, because I was succeeding, I thought I was sorted.
Hidden issues
But I had issues: I craved attention and always looked for affirmation from family & friends. I cared very much what others thought of me and I was often anxious around important people. Big job titles and even being called ‘Pastor’ me me feel important.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the most secret parts.” Jeremiah 17:9-10
This scripture tells us that one of the heart’s greatest capabilities is deceit. Just as the heart is able to love and be loved, the heart is able to deceive and be deceived. Put simply, your heart can – and probably does – lie to you.
My heart told me I was fine but that was a lie, and a big problem. If our foundations are shaky, everything we build is at risk.
Truth
If I need people’s praises to build me up then their criticism will be able to tear me down. God wants our validity to come from Him alone. That is the only way we can be stable and secure. And unless we are healed deep within, that is very, very hard.
About ten years ago, God shone His light into my heart and showed me how broken I really was. Although I was successful by the church (and the world’s) standards, I felt inadequate and insecure.
The Lord took me on the journey of my life, a journey to inner peace and genuine security.
You might have made it to adult life without anyone noticing your buried pain. You may have an excellent education, an impressive job, a great ministry or a successful business.
But if your heart isn’t completely healed, you will never be able to live life to the full. Perhaps you’re painfully aware of the wounds within but you don’t know how to be free.
Journey
God is the God of truth. The Holy Spirit is called the Spirit of Truth. He desires truth from us: truth in our innermost being, truth in the secret places of our hearts.
God wants to reveal the issues that are bound up in inside, hampering our lives. Jesus came to expose our inner most thoughts so that we can be free from all hindrances.
“A sword will pierce through your own soul… that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2:35
When we face the truth and acknowledge it deep within, it becomes the key to our healing and freedom (John 8:32).
Pusue wholeness
If this has struck a chord, then ask God to start (or continue) a work within. Invite the Spirit of Truth to take you on a journey to freedom. It’s time to face the truth and allow the Lord to heal your heart.
Whether you’re a leader or a new believer, I encourage you to come (and keep coming) to Healed for Life. God will shine His light into your heart and a do a wonderful work within. You will be amazed at what God will do in just two days.
That’s wonderful amen
Through loses and many tests, I am starting to understand that god never promised that all our circumstances will go away, and in moments of deep pain, he wanted me to know that whilst we may have wonderful friends and things to be grateful for in the darkest times he wants to be as lamentations 3.22 says the steadfast love of the lord never ceases his mercies are new every morning great is His faithfulness the lord is my portion says my soul therefore I will hope in him, I found for myself as you said that in the most painful times of life its only his love and promises that see us through,although i m not professing to be completely healed when I found the most painfullest times and nothing could ease that pain turning back to him restores us, this dose not stop pain completely or even change some of the very circumstances we have to live with but I’m starting to experience his love is so powerful to get us back to his peace after many loses and uncertainties of life his love never fails and I love this blog sooo much because I’m learning bit by bit
As you said to be open honest and transparent with god your words touched a very big part of my life thank you, as a child growing up I too had encountered many critisims rejections and as our family fell apart and other things were taken from my life iam begining to comprehend the reality is that its gods love alone that never leaves still healing still learning but realised like you that I had tried to gain acceptance from a performance attitude, I would reject myself and gods love at those times and withdraw, but his love would whisper in my ear, its my strength its my grace and me that sustains your life, and that’s just the start as you say of a journey to freedom I don’t profess to be there yet but I can now at least understand that his leading me more to be more dependant on him instead thank you so much for this very important lesson god bless you and Jo to posting these healing experiences and how to deepen our relationship in gods security