Insecurity drives people. In fact, after destiny, it can be one of the greatest motivations. Maybe you were put down by a parent or humiliated by teachers. But you are clever and capable so the desire to prove your brilliance to the people around you makes you do extraordinary things.
THE FIX
We develop different strategies or habits to satisfy our craving for reassurance. You know when you’re starting to feel inadequate and so you do something or prime someone to give you your ‘hit’ for the day.
The call from within is, “Recognise my talent, admire my success or show me respect.” After someone has told you that you are brilliant, all is well. That is, until the craving builds again and you seek the drug of applause or reassurance once more.
But there are problems with these patterns of behaviour. We can find ourselves relying on the approval of others rather than the assurance of God.
INSECURITY IN LEADERSHIP
Of course, church leaders are far from immune. We can become reliant on the admiration of our people, or find it hard to make decisions that might upset the congregation.
After a group of leaders left our church, insecurity tried to knock at my door once again. I felt uncomfortable if anyone asked to speak to me, especially if they wanted to raise a concern.
We have always encouraged feedback from our church family. It’s a great way to find out what we are doing effectively and what we could do differently to meet people’s needs. But in this season, I was not handling suggestions well. I went to God in prayer.
ROCK SOLID
He reminded me that it is His job, not mine, to build His church. He took me back to Jesus. One day the Lord was teaching a crowd of His followers and got into some difficult doctrinal matters: “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you…”
Well, His ‘church’ members were not impressed at all: “From that time, many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.” John 6:66
They left. All except the twelve, that is. And what did Jesus do? Did He panic, rushing around pleading with the few remaining followers to stay? No. Jesus was assured in His leadership. The size of His congregation did not affect His self-esteem. It did not alter the value He placed on His ministry or His significance in the kingdom. He was secure.
BACK TO BASICS
The example of Jesus pierced my heart. I wept in God’s presence and told Him, “I don’t mind who leaves or who stays! This is Your church and it’s Your job to build it, not mine. I seek Your approval alone and Your faithfulness. I don’t mind what anybody else thinks.”
If you have been rocked by the actions of the people around you, go back to God. Ask Him to heal your heart while you deliberately move your attention back to Him. Becoming secure is a journey. We need the Holy Spirit to reveal both our cruches and the hidden causes of our insecurities. He reveals and then He heals. I encourage you to get hold of our books and come (and keep coming) to Healed for Life – you will be amazed at what God will do.
Thank you Jo I was not in any particular ministry or leadership but as painful and bit scary as it’s been God has been breaking up fallow ground I think that’s what it’s called
Showing me the triggers as everything was and still is being turned upside down I once wanted to know all the details now his showing me the triggers and at one time such deep loneliness where no friend or anything else not family could ease the pain I’m still going through those places now but the difference today is I can say lord I am afraid but you are faithful your promises to me is what gets me through each day today I can say I can worship you in truth give you honestly the pain and thank you for sustaing me and showing me and thanks and praise for the goodness and mercy that has and still is following every day blessed be the name of the lord thank you Jo for teaching me that I can be honest with God and praise him in all circumstances for he knows what it takes to change me, I don’t say lord I like this pain but I can say thank you for not leaving me as I was God bless and continue to protect lead and guide you and use you to impact lives with God’s truth Chrissy Fogarty
God is amazing and He will confirm His truths in all ways He sees fit. I just arrived home from Healed for Life 2 days (my third time). God dealt with me yet again about insecurities on a new level and I was just scrolling through the website and saw this post. He has been healing me since my first Healed for Life in 2015 on insecurities. I struggled with feeling secure around ‘people of importance’ especially those who seemed very spiritual and had clear anointing on their lives. I yearned for their recognition but was scared that they may look at me and think I am not spiritual enough or that I had lots of failings and flaws. I would want to talk with them. seek help or advice but would not seek them out as I felt that I was not good enough or important or significant enough for them to see or speak to me. I would shy away from expressing myself or speak up as I did not want to been seen or judged for being beneath them.
In business, I struggled with staff opinions of me and external important people in different ways. I had lots of insecurities about how my husband saw me.
Today, God stripped me of my insecurities starting early on the morning g as I poured out my heart to Him. He reminded that I was His little girl who needs no one’s approval except His and that He approves me and approves of who I am and who He says I am. He took away the fear that I had of leaders, and my husband who I look up to and wanted to share my life with.
I feel completely free knowing that I do not need to compare myself with anyone at all or wait for them to acknowledge or approve me. I am who God has made me to be; lively, bubbly, loving, kind, friendly, warm, a helper and caring. I could go on and on with a list of how He made me and blessed with everything that makes me , ME. I love me because God loves me. Whatever parts He needs to change, mold, shape, make new, He will do it as I have given Him full permission with ALL RIGHTS RESERVED to only Him to do as He pleases with me.
No more comparisons, no more fear, NO MORE what others think. I am free. I could keep going…. God is faithful, has been and always will be.
Healed for Life is a MUST for every human being.